One of the challenges I've had throughout this horrifically long battle with an ex-old friend Cyber Bully/Stalker is a question that keeps going through my mind, "How can you do this? I mean morally? OK, so it's legal to tape record someone over the phone without telling them, but why would anyone want to? And then the question arises about the legality of publishing a secretly recorded phone conversation or video over the internet. It's illegal, an invasion of privacy. My lawyer informed him of the law. But still, he continues doing these types of things to others. It has to do with what's right and what's wrong and how we treat each other in this World. Screw the legal issue - what type of a creature does this crap - to anyone? wtf
He literally destroyed my trust and then had the audacity to question why I didn't want to be his friend anymore. "But what about our friendship?" That would be like Linda Tripp asking Monica Lewinsky to be her friend again. "Hey, chick - give me a call sometime." Does this individual not have the ability to comprehend that what he did was a really, really 'BAD' thing? Does he not get the 'bigger picture' of how his behavior affects others? Does he not have the mental capacity to understand that this is not MORAL - even if it's legal. Why would someone want to purposely hurt another person? There's been a lot of dialogue about this question regarding his behavior. Some say he's narcissist - totally self-absorbed. Some say it's because he's insecure - needs lots of attention. Some say, as the Judge in New York did that he thinks of himself as important and famous. I say it's because he doesn't have a conscience. Whatever it is I wouldn't want to be within a hundred miles of him when karma hits.
This guy's history with me documents back to a series of internet abuses starting in early July, 2009. At first I looked at it as a learning experience - something that happened, but it (or I thought it was) soon resolved after I requested he remove/delete the secret tape recording and he subsequently acknowledged that he had. As far as I was concerned it was all done and over with in a matter of days but apparently not so on his end. Like most abusers, he was angry that I no longer wanted a friendship with him so he went about a nearly two year (still going on) very publicly abusive tirade against me Admonishing me publicly. As time went on he kept the 'deleted' recording and used it at times in whole without voice distortion and at times in small clips to try to control my behavior. Over the years, he systematically created a negative and hostile image of me over his blog. Always speaking in the third person as though his rants were a compilation of how "everybody" who works at TM feels. He elected himself as the Operators spokesperson and representative (unannounced to us) and as such created over 32 negative, highly inflammatory, slanderous You Tubes plus numerous written entry postings on his other Blogs about my character. He purposely created them to publicly denigrate, control, intimidate and create a false image of my character in the minds of my co-workers, managers and whoever else views (2,000 plus hits a week) his site. He wanted his viewers to think I have mental problems and can't differentiate between what's real and what's not. Typical abusive behavior only it was done over the internet. So now I've got people coming on my bus recognizing me, with preconceived ideas about who I am. And, I've got another wanna be Rantings guy, Chris Day, co-worker and big fan and blogging partner of the other one who presented a petition to our Union to have me blackballed so he can get votes when he runs for Union President. Someone needs to sit him down and explain what Unions are. What they aren't is about exclusion because you have a problem with someone. What the hell's going on here? Is it in the drinking water or what? Oh, and Lordy, Lordy - don't let me forget this part: Ellen Fox Blog Watch
As I've aged I've learned a few things. Here's two of 'em:
1.) Careful about your expectations of others.
2.) Careful about who you give your power to.
I experienced something most people hopefully will never have to in their lifetime. He presented himself as kind, fun and smart. But what I didn't realize until this very public spectacle is that his persona was faked. He assumed a personality that was literally beyond compare to the real person. Yet, another characteristic of an abusive personality.
This is who he wants you to think he is:
But, this is what you end up with:
He initially played the recording with a slight to medium voice distortion. You could make out what I was saying without a problem. Regardless of what he says, my voice was recognizable so that throws out the "But I protected you" theory. He wrote in his e-mails plus told both Judges: "Your voice was distorted", "I thought you wanted to be heard so I went ahead and distorted the whole thing and put it up!", "I hid your identity, there is no possible way for anybody to know who I was talking to, it's not possible, I changed the pitch and the speed of the audio." BUT through the same series of e-mails he admits that he wanted "Trimet employees and the world needed to hear that!" "I wanted Trimet to hear that too!" Further down there's another e-mail that says, "the feedback I got on the video was INCREDIBLE! VERY FEW PEOPLE KNEW ANY OF THIS." Talk about talking out of both sides of your mouth. I didn't care about what I said as much as I cared about the betrayal (by someone who called me a friend) of being recorded and published without my knowledge. And then he says, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry BUT IT'S LEGAL and sends me a copy of the Oregon State Statutes.
There's been numerous instances of a-moral behavior. Too many to list:
He was 86th from 24 Hour Fitness for secretly filming in the men's room.
He secretly video/audio taped and published several co-workers and managers.
He was caught on his own blog filming women's restrooms at various Transit Centers.
He was caught on his own blog filming and publishing himself using restrooms.
He was caught blogging and operating a bus via his own blog.
He was caught audio/video taping on the MAX in uniform but off duty. That equates to the cable guy knocking on your door in uniform but off duty.
He secretly audio/video taped co-workers venting about bicyclists. They said such things as 'wanting to run over a group of 'em'. He then posted the video on bikeportland.org, along with another video where he filmed himself literally shoving large amounts of food in to his mouth while chewing and talking. Food particles spitting every which way as he talked. And then later that same evening filmed himself naked while sitting on the toilet having another discussion with bikeportland.
He started playing dispatch tapes along with making personal comments regarding co-workers who were asking for assistance under sometimes difficult conditions. Operators were becoming leery of calling for help - not wanting to be recognized or commented about on his Blog.
The headings of his blog postings are negative and slanderous. The blog is largely negative and abusive in content. He resorts to name calling. He uses it to publicly chastise and abuse people he doesn't like or understand.
The bottom line remains in his mind. It's legal so fuck anyone who doesn't like it.
Internet bullies and stalkers hide behind Freedom of Speech, Vancouver Blotter - Trimet Faces Social Media, Free Speech Challenge It's not their Freedom of Speech that's the threat but behavior and the consequences that behavior creates. Oregon enacted laws against abuses over the internet but they're not currently enforcing them, YET. It's my hope, through this blog and continued conversations with State Representatives and others that the laws put on the books to protect citizens from this crap will start being enforced. It's my hope that those who tread on the lives of others so criminally and unjustifiably find themselves locked away from society.
The series of e-mail below document our final conversation after I discovered he taped recorded and published me on his Blog nearly two years ago without my knowledge or consent. It's time to re-publish. They are revealing as to character - the character of an abuser - the character of someone who uses his computer and hides behind Freedom of Speech to abuse and harass. Click the images to enlarge. I didn't remove Peggy Hanson's name as she's no longer with TM.
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