BITS AND PIECES FROM OTHER ARTICLES

Originally published 4/30/11

Topic: “Cyberstalking”

What is it? Why is it? How may it be prevented?

How may it adversely affect its victims?

Written by one that has been and still is, being subjected to this indescribable invasion of one’s privacy, of one’s life….

…By Artsie_ladie, aka Sharon Donnelly

 – Since the Internet is here to stay, so is the crime of cyberstalking. Therefore, there is a need to not only ask questions, the easier task, but then comes the daunting task of finding answers and solutions for these questions. Daunting as this is, however, it should not deter the mission nor become a prerequisite of concession.

 – I am writing this article and drawing from a considerable amount of research done and from experiencing first hand the victimization of cyberstalking myself for a period now of about four years that I am aware of and I am still being stalked at this present time of writing this.

 – In spite of the fact I have been threatened by my stalker that should I choose to write my ‘side of the story’, my name shall be permanently defiled all across the Internet, particularly my online name “Artsie_ladie”, I have made the conscious decision to blatantly and openly defy my stalker’s intrusion for quite the elementary reasons.  Fire is usually fought with water, but when the fire becomes relentless or aggressive, it is then fought with more fire.

 – In my opinion only a person that has something to hide would resort to making threats as an attempt to make me be and suffer, as ‘their silent victim’. As is the case with most crimes, intimidation laced with threats particularly is a very common method used to keep victims quiet. Also, should the person stalking me choose to defile my name, as a result of my defiance, then this is one more bit of ammunition my stalker provides ‘me’ with, against their subjugation and at their own doing, not mine.

 – There is also another factor that the stalker brings into play, which is rather typical of many that are guilty of acts they are not supposed to be doing and this is to discredit the victim. Once the victim is discredited, the victim becomes even more powerless in obtaining not only the help needed, but the understanding and compassion needed as well.

 – In other words by discrediting the victim, the stalker also gains an increased advantage to aid them in the isolation of their victim. The more people the stalker can convince the victim lacks creditability, the more the stalker gains support against the victim. Thus, the victim becomes gradually left believing that there is no place to turn to for help.

What Is Cyberstalking?

 – To explain cyberstalking, one must first touch on “what is stalking”. Stalking is the UNWANTED attention and surveillance, therefore intrusion to varying degrees of another. A stalker may stalk another person for many reasons, which they justify and rationalise doing so in their own minds.

 – Cyberstalking is of the same, only this is a more specific form of stalking and this type of stalking involves the use of computers, hence, the term “cyber” added.

Why Is It? Why Does A Stalker Stalk?

 – There are many reasons why a stalker stalks its victims. The reason(s) may be in the harmless zone or the reason(s) may be to cause harm to the victim personally, such as physically, emotionally, financially, etc., and may not fall under just one category, but can and often does create a domino effect, overlapping one into another. For instance, a person stalked can be adversely affected in a financial sense, but so, is also adversely affected emotionally, which can manifest into the physical wellness of the victim being affected as well.

 – Some of the reasons by which a stalker rationalises his actions are:

• - Jealousy: This reason has many preempting factors of its own, including the claiming of loving the victim, as well as the claiming of loving another, but the victim is coming between the stalker and the person of this affection.
• - Control: Some people cultivate a need to control others, which also pulls into this equation, the need for the feeling of power.
• - Obsession: Some people for varying reasons get carried away with what is an acceptable amount of liking and admiration of another, and so, not knowing or understanding just where to draw the line, go overboard and justify it.
• - Revenge: This word is obvious on its own, and like jealousy, it too, can harbour many instigating or initial roots, but with revenge, there are present more thoughts of dislike, even hatred brought into this scenario.
• - Mental instabilities: These may or may not stem from a mentally diagnosed problem, since most people harbour and realise their own fetishes, idiosyncrasies, and even inadequacies, but most people find a rational way to cope or deal with them and in a way that does not adversely affect others to the extent of a personal invasion.
• - Emotional insecurities: These may include low self-esteem, uncomfortableness when relating to and/or interacting with others, particularly with one-to-one interactions, and also the pendulum may swing to the other extreme, where an individual thinks they are ‘above’ others. However, this is oftentimes a facade, orchestrated to make others ‘think’ they are  flawless, and often because they can’t accept the reality of their own fallibility, therefore believing others can’t accept them ‘as they are’, even though most people accept that humans aren’t perfect.
• - Total disregard: Unfortunately, there are people that simply think everything that exists, is there for their taking, regardless if whatever belongs to another or not, regardless if they know they are stealing whatever, and regardless about others, period. These are those that apparently have no conscience, definitely either have no clue as to knowing the difference between right and wrong or they simply choose to defy what they know to be wrong.

 – I could go on and on here for these are just a few examples and simplistically defined, but seldom is the act of stalking, the thinking process that fuels the act, a simplistic train of thinking. There is usually much detailed thought put into the act of stalking, because the stalker WANTS their victim to know, but a stalker does NOT WANT anyone else to know for a stalker knows better than to voluntarily incriminate themselves.

 – Even though a stalker justifies their action in their thinking process, somewhere within this thinking, there must also be a voice that is telling them it is wrong. Otherwise, a stalker wouldn’t be so careful about planning and following through with their intimidation tactics so ONLY their victim is aware and to take the measures a stalker will take to discredit and isolate their victim.